FAQ and Check List

FAQ & Check Lists

Helping guide you through all the information:

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Questions & Answers that come my way.

Are you legally licensed to perform our ceremony?

I am an ordained minister (wedding officiant) through the Universal Life Church which is a non-denominational organization (see Officiant Molly Lyons page).
In WA State, only ordained ministers or judges can legally perform wedding ceremonies. All ceremonies in WA State must either be "civil" (judge) or "religious" (anything else).

I always have my ordination certificate with me when either we meet or I perform your ceremony.

Do you provide the marriage license? What do we need to do to be licensed in WA State?

I cannot provide your marriage license, as couples themselves must appear to a county auditor and provide information in order to obtain a license. I can give you all the information and links you need to get your license. (See column on right of page.)

What's the difference between being married and common-law in WA State?

WA State does not recognize "common-law" but there are other states which do so. Therefore, if you are seeking the various benefits of legal partnering and are a resident of Washington, a marriage ceremony is the way to go.
WA State does not yet recognize commitment ceremonies but there are other states which do so.

It says you're a minister, does that mean our ceremony has to be "religious"?

Your ceremony does not have to be religious. What's important to me is that the ceremony is what you want; that it reflects your unique union and how you want to express your love before witnesses.
Please feel free to read the spiritual beliefs of the Universal Life Church, to which I adhere, either on the Officiant Molly Lyons page or at ULC's website.
www.themonastery.org

I am a woman of faith, the core of which is a deep and abiding belief in the love of God and all people, therefore, I LOVE to help create the ceremony that you desire to reflect your love and romance. I am not married to performing a "spiritual" ceremony: just to the idea that you are content with it.

What type of ceremonies do you perform?

I love to perform ceremonies that uniquely reflect who you are and what you want to tell your community about your romance.

I can do commitment ceremonies, traditional wedding ceremonies, re-newal of vows, anniversary events (although commitment and vow renewals are not recognized by the state at this time, I love to perform them for your personal satisfaction and deepening of your relationship).

I can create with you: very simple "elopement" style civil ceremonies, traditional wedding ceremonies, uniquely written original ceremonies.

I am open to perform non-religious (civil), interfaith, spiritual, religious and traditional weddings.

I have access to tons of resources for various styles of spiritual from ancient Celtic handfasting to Episcopalian to non-denominational.

Working together with my resources, we can find all the elements which enhance a ceremony: readings, songs, scripture, or leave it completely simple - according to your taste.

Once we agree to work together, I can give you ceremonies I have performed, in the meantime, they are not available to the public.

You can see some video samples of wedding styles at my YouTube page.

Can you do same-sex marriages?

Washington State does not at this time recognize same-sex marriages. I am willing to perform commitment ceremonies if you would like a formal or spiritual recognition of your relationship/domestic partnership.

How will we work together?

After our initial contact, via either phone or email, we need to set up a face-to-face meeting. I love to create unique ceremonies that reflect who you are and that's so much easier to do when I have the chance to get to know you as soon as possible.

I think it best to meet with both partners as the ceremony will reflect not only who you are as individuals but what you want to express to your community.

     I have a questionnaire I use to enable me to get a sneak peak into what's important to both of you and, of course, to handle the necessary logistics about your ceremony.
     I have a couple of documents that you can use as guidelines to let me know what you do/don't want included in your ceremony.
     Once we start working together, I hope you'll contact me as often as you need to in order to feel comfortable and excited about your ceremony.
I have tons of resources into which we can delve or I can research to find the elements which most reflect your union.

I'll send you a draft of the ceremony, based on what we've discussed, for your approval and we can keep working until it is what you desire.

Can we write our own ceremony or do you have ceremonies we can choose or can you design everything for us?

Yes! Any of the above are possible. (See the above.) Seriously, I have done ceremonies which were sent to me, which we found in a book; completely original creations and very traditional denominational celebrations.

In what geographical areas will you work?

I work in most western WA State counties but would be most happy to travel just about anywhere if you want to work with me. Naturally, there's a travel fee. (See Ceremony Rates.)

We've spoken to some ministers who require couples' counseling; do you?

I do not require that you have marriage counseling before your ceremony. I do recommend marriage counseling and life counseling for such services can offer tools in essentials such as: communication, finances, expectations, goal-setting, having children or child-rearing; the issues that can cause disharmony and even divorce in most marriages.

Do you provide counseling services?

I do not but can offer you recommendations should you choose to do so which I think is wise just to create a solid foundation for your future together.

What do your services include?

Depending on the package you choose:

initial consulation, either in person or via phone/email, with myself & the couple
the creation of your ceremony with all the important elements you desire
plenty of contact via phone & email
a rehearsal or walk-through of the ceremony prior to the start-time
coordinating with all crucial professionals (wedding coordinators, photographers, musicians, DJ, videographers, soloists/readers, candle-lighters, etc.) to make the ceremony as smooth as can be
the performing of the ceremony
a keepsake copy of your unique ceremony
the filing of all your paperwork for your marriage license

How do we book you?

We agree, in person, via phone or email, that I am the person with whom you want to celebrate your ceremony, which ceremony package you desire, and that the date & time is clear in my calendar.

You send me a $50 booking fee which secures the date (including rehearsal if you are getting the full traditional ceremony package).

The balance of the package is due by either the rehearsal or when I arrive for the ceremony. (see below.) That is the time when I will collect from you the county envelope with license, etc. (see info on right) and fill out all the names, dates, and other legal info.

I ask that couples include my check in the county envelope so that all of our business can then be concluded at the time we do the legal part!! (see info on right!)

Do you ever perform multiple ceremonies on the same day?

Yes I do. Should I perform more than one ceremony on any given day, I always build in enough time for delays (I've never seen a wedding start on time!) and travel so that I am on-site at least one hour prior to the ceremony.

How and when do we pay you?

The balance of the package, including mileage, is due by either the rehearsal or when I arrive for the ceremony. That is the time when I will collect from you the county envelope with license, etc. (see info on right) and fill out all the names, dates, and other legal info. I ask that couples include my check in the county envelope so that all of our business can then be concluded at the time we do the legal part!! (see info on right!)

You are always welcome to pay me at any time! Some couples are watching every penny and have budgetted certain items to be paid at certain times. Other couples want to get as much out of the way as possible so the big day is soley for celebration. Some couples' parents have offered to pay for certain aspects of the wedding, officiant included, and will get the check before the rehearsal.

Bottom line: as long as the payment in full is in my hands before we are saying "I Do", all is well.

Oh yes...what will you wear?

I usually try to wear whatever makes the bride and groom comfortable or, if you have no preference, something that goes with the feeling of the wedding: be it in a formal hall or on the beach. Depending on the formality of the event, I either wear a suit or something more casually soft and flowy, which is my personal style.

I do like to wear what I call a “stole”, ministerially-speaking, but what most people would recognize as a simple scarf or shawl, depending on the season and style of the bridal party. With either my blouse or stole, I try to balance, color-wise, with the colors of the event.

Please browse the Photo Gallery for more examples for what I have worn in various ceremonies.

If I have more questions than what I have found here, may I please write to you and ask?

Of course you may and I'd be more than happy to answer your questions. If I don't know the answer, I'll do my best to help.

CHECK LISTS

A helpful check list to make sure everything we need to take care of is in order, legally-speaking and practically-speaking, for your big day.

Marriage Licensing in Washington State
Obtain your license from your county of residence.

Both the groom and bride can visit any location. A $64 fee (cash only) must accompany the completed the application. The license will be issued at the time of payment. The license is not valid until the three-day waiting period has expired.

Requirements:

Both parties must be at least 18 years old.
No blood test, identification, birth certificates or divorce papers are required
A witness is not required.
If you are divorced, the divorce must be final and filed before applying for the license.

Washington State law requires a three-day waiting period before the marriage license becomes valid. This means that you must wait at least three full days after the application is filed before the marriage ceremony can be performed.

The license is valid for only 60 days. The marriage ceremony must be performed before the 60-day expiration of the license.

By State law, any minister or priest of any church or religious denomination, and any Washington State judge or justice can perform a marriage ceremony.

Witnesses:
Although the State law does not specify the age of witnesses, the witnesses are witnessing a civil contract. As such, a witness is deemed "competent" for this purpose usually at the age of 18.

If applicants wish to have their children or another party who is under the age of 18 be their bridesmaid or best man, we recommend they have two other witnesses who are over 18 and who also observed the exchange of vows (marriage) sign the marriage certificates.

Links to some WA County Web Sites:
Chelan County
Island County

Jefferson County
King County
Kitsap County

Pierce County

Skagit County

Snohomish County

If I have not listed your county, you can find other WA State counties by clicking here:

WA Counties

If you'd like me to travel to a different state, province or country, please contact me!

CHECK LISTS for your big day:

Bring the envelope with ALL of the county documents enclosed to either the rehearsal or the ceremony and have it easily accessible for me to fill out all necessary licences and certificates: two of which we must all sign (along with your witnesses); one of which you
keep, one of which I keep, one I mail to the county auditor's office.
Please enclose the balance of my fee (as per our agreement + travel) in a letter/legal envelope inside the manila envelope with the county documents. That way, payment is easily concluded without bothering you with business in the midst of your celebration

I am happy to travel, for a travel fee, and below are listed the counties in which I most commonly perform ceremonies.
Again, I LOVE to travel.

Other good TIPS for the wedding day (consider preparing all this well in advance):

Do you have all necessary phone numbers with you? Event Coordinator, church, reception site, caterer, limo driver, photographer, videographer, OFFICIANT, all vital members of wedding party - best man & maid of honor especially. A taxi company phone number - just in case.
Do you have an emergency packet with you? Needle & thread, safety pins, extra corsage pins, nail polish, nail file, extra panty hose, dry cleaning cloth or pen, bandaids, kleenex, extra make-up, deodorant, freshening wipes, umbrella, DON'T FORGET - identification, cash & a credit card, etc.
Any technology you need such as cell phones, cameras, mp3 player or laptop if your playlist is the music or you're doing a live webcam stream (yep, just did a wedding that had a live webcam stream to China and the restaurant wireless went down!), back-up wireless or aircard, batteries or chargers for all techno gadgets.
Your going away outfit or overnight bag with comfy clothes, change of shoes (for tired, swollen feet) and toiletries.
Assign someone to make sure that you both eat and have some water: a good task for your best man/maid of honor or a trusted auntie. Make sure you sit down for a while both before the ceremony starts and during the reception.
Careful of when you do facials/masks, ladies, they can cause break-outs; careful with razors, gents, so you don't have cuts!
Drink lots of water, eat healthily and try to rest in the week leading up to it. EAT BREAKFAST on the big day: I've seen lots of fainting and often it was often from hunger or hangover. Someone bring smelling salts. Seriously.
Caution to all in bridal party: think about over-partying at any stag/hen parties. I remember a wedding where two groomsmen had bruised faces (one had black eyes, the other a broken nose) in all the photos because they had way too much to drink and tried to dance with each other but ended up dancing with the corner of the house: long story.

See our BLOG for more info and articles which might help you plan your event but here's a good one on writing original vows!

How Do We Write Our Own Vows?

Many couples choose to compose their own vows. You might be surprised how effectively you can write. It's the "getting it down on paper" that’s difficult for some people.

Just Say It. Don’t sit down to write. Instead, get a tape recorder. Say what you really want to say. Don't worry about the words. Take your time, talk more than you need to, if that will help. Then replay the tape. Find the phrases or sentences that really work, that communicate your true intent. If something on the tape makes you laugh, cry, smile, it’s a winner.
Be Simple. Good writing doesn’t require big words or long sentences. It should aim to successfully communicate particular thoughts, sentiments or ideas.
Be Specific. Stay away from broad generalities ("I will love you forever") and focus on small specific expressions of love. If you write about one specific event ("I promise to always dry if you wash, and wash if you dry") you write, by extension, about all events.
Avoid Cliches. Everyone will surely understand “My love for you is deeper than the ocean,” but they’ve heard it a million times before. It’s unoriginal, uninspired. And your vows should reflect the profound inspiration of your love for one another. If it’s a phrase you've heard before, if it sounds like a line from a song, get rid of it. Find a new and original way to illustrate your point.
Find a Friend Who Can Write To Give It A Read. You may not know any "professional writers" but you probably know people who write as a part of their work. Or you may know people who do a great deal of reading and thus have a good critical eye. Consider calling upon a friend who is a teacher or a librarian, they may be able to give you some constructive advice on how to improve your writing.

How Can We Make Our Vows Sound Natural?

When writing your vows, find inspiration from your favorite poem or try penning your own expressions of love. You can keep them short and sweet, but remember that to be legally binding, the wording must state that you take your partner as your spouse and that you promise to remain committed to him or her.

An example of a poetic vow goes as follows:

"Darling, when I look at you
Every aged phrase is new,
And there are moments when it seems
I've married one of Shakespeare's dreams.”
-Ogden Nash

“I (Name), take you (Name), as my (wife/husband). You are my best friend and I promise to love you and provide you with strength, support, and patience. I promise to laugh and cry with you, in whatever endeavors we choose to embark on. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.”

How Can Our Vows Reflect A Retro Style?

Tap into your creative side by writing your own vows. For inspiration, turn to words from your decade’s love passages, hit songs, or even movies. Make sure your officiant reads over them to ensure that the vows include the necessary words to make the marriage legally binding.

“I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me
All the seasons and the times of your days
All the nickels and the dimes of your days
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days
All begin and end with me.”
-Frank Sinatra

“Today I, (Name), commit myself to you (Name), as your (husband/wife). I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow, till death do us part.”

Visit our Blog for ideas, articles and helpful hints.
http://CreativeCommitmentCeremonies.blogspot.com

"We were so thankful to have you there to do our ceremony. It felt like you were part of our family."

Creative Commitment Ceremonies

Collaborating with couples to create a ceremony that fully expresses who you are and reflects the uniqueness of your union.